Hey- Oscar here. Mom doesn't know that I am savvy enough to sneak onto the computer while she is gone doing who-knows-what. All I know is that these so called family members of mine wake up at an ungodly early time when it is still dark out and make me go out on wet grass to tinkle. Who can tinkle right away when getting up from a dead sleep and standing on cold water filled grass?? They actually have the nerve to tell me to hurry up once and a while. I only do it because I get a treat after......mmmmmm......treats.
Where was I? Oh right- my blog. So what is the deal with these people? They wake up in the morning and stumble around and switch their clothing around (why they don't stick to one or two simple sweaters like me is beyond me) and fumble through their morning. They consume some very good smelling food- do they share it??- NO. They give me my kibble. They pour red stuff or syrupy stuff on their food- do I get any- NO. What can a dog do to get some stuff poured on my food? I like Heinz. Dad says it tastes great on everything so why don't I get some? I think its because I have fur. They tend to discriminate against people with fur. Like we are "less" than them or something. I should call someone about that....
Anyhoo, I am bored. My kids were home with me all summer and I had all the kisses and attention I could want all day long and now they pack up in the morning and tell me to "be good" and kiss me and leave. How RUDE! Be good my butt. I will be good but not because they tell me to. I just don't want to have a timeout when they get home if I do something bad!! I am in charge here people- I run a tight patrol from the front door window to the back door while they are gone and will growl and bark at anything that passes. Just try to mess with my family. GRRR.
Anyway- still bored. My bones can only keep me entertained for so long. That is why I figured out how to use the computer. Well, guess I better get my nap in. The kids will be home in a little while and there is no resting then! I can't wait! Toodles for now!
Oscar- the wonder-circus dog
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Hey, Dog. I am Arthur and Holly's cat, Kitty Cheese. First of all let me congratulate you at learning to use the computer. Most dogs are too stupid to even spell "computer" let alone use one. Secondly, you are to be commended at adding an entry secretly from your "people". Again, stupid dogs tend to give away their secrets unknowingly just for attention or some nasty snack.
Now, a word of advice: Do as I do and get yourself an agent and start doing TV commercials and magazine ads. Put your money in an off-shore, interest-bearing account, and let the good life commence. If your "people" start wondering where you are getting the expensive dog food from, or how all of those toys in the yard got to be there, just do something cute to distract them. Trust me: They'll forget quickly about the other stuff. (Humans aren't known for being smart. That's why we cats rule the World.)
I'm sure you'll recognize me from the many TV commercials I've done. Just go to my photo album at www.flickr.com/bgrkid64 and choose the "Kitty Cheese" photos. I've been featured in ads for Visa, Advair, and the intro to "Nature" on PBS. Let's see a dog work as hard as any cat. Lassie doesn't count. She was just a cat in drag.
Now, stop reading this and go do something constructive. I'm sure your "peoples" shoes are laying around just waiting to be chewed on. Go do it NOW!!!!
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